There is
no such thing as sorry
Anyway, this is another realization to see how much pride I have about myself. Oh, I can live by myself. I don't need anybody. I don't need any pity from anybody...... And then I know I am such a person in such a way living my life. Somehow tough. Yea, a nice person who is tough.
Whatever the world is going to be, my loving nature will still be there. Even it is somehow so real (because it is always there) and unreal (because perhaps it doesn't belong to this world), but who cares? That's me. I can only live my life in my own way, and pay the price with a sense of knowing. Sadness will pass away.
Some people would feel comforted to hear other people saying sorry to them. That's ok to me. People are different. I respect all that difference. But please don't say sorry to me. I would feel somehow that sorry is dishonest deep down. Sometimes even when I myself said sorry to something or somebody, I immediately felt so uncomfortable about myself, kind of sensing that sorry partly out of being socially polite, but not being honest enough to just say “I don’t want to do that”, or “I can’t do it”, or “I can’t do what you expect me to do”.
My ex had this kind of feelings toward me even he never said it. And I found myself deep down hated that. What difference would it make to say sorry? If two people can't get together any more for whatever reason, just leave. There is always some other new life waiting for you to explore and to experience. Really nothing is sorry for. This is still my basic idea. Yea, Bob Dylan, my favorite song writer. His songs always express out my thoughts.
So, please don’t say sorry to me if you do it out of obliged social politeness or pity. That at least will bring some of my respect to your honesty. Particularly don't say that something you did was for whatever some reason. Please, that is your nature. That has nothing to do with me or with this or with that at all. I would have some more respect for your courage of being honest about all of this.
I never think that anybody can destroy another person's life in relationships. Maybe there is such thing because this world is somehow too complicated for me to understand its complexity. I would personally think that nobody can hurt anybody else unless I myself want to be hurt. (I know this kind of saying is cruel and disturbing. But what to do? That is one of the truths from my experiences.) Everybody is the one to be responsible for his/her own life; even somehow we have no choice in the Existence/Universe.
Blame-game rarely happens in my life. I don't blame others. Blame for me is just a waste of my life. I have more important and meaningful things to do in my life. And love would never be a waste in my life. Love nourishes people, including myself. Particularly giving love is much more nourishing than being loved. And ultimately there is really no such thing as difference between giving love and being loved. Love is everywhere in life, in the Existence, in the Universe. I would rather just enjoy love itself, and enjoy love emanated from the Universe, the Existence, the Nature, the Mother Earth, the Sky…
And, whoever comes, love is shared in the flow. Love is never just for one person only. Love itself is so much of abundance and flowing all around, how can it be just for one particular person?
Thank you for setting me free from this bondage. My job with you is done.
Life is a journey.
 |
| 01-May-2014 |
You say there
is no such thing as love. I say there is
no such thing as sorry. What is sorry
for? Sorry is when you don't feel like
to do something but feel expected to do it and you didn't do it anyway. Sorry is something that you feel you owe
somebody something.
Since people don’t need to live their life according to other people's expectations, there is no place for sorry. Since people deep down don't owe each other, there is no place for sorry either. Sorry is just another word to say "I can't do it." or "I don't feel like to do it."
You said you felt that you owed her a lot because you made such big upside-down trouble and turmoil to her life and eventually she got nothing out of this.
Oh, there is no need to feel so at all. That lady would be fine. At least she learned a lot through this. Anyway, she tends to be nowhere to go, nothing to achieve. She is vulnerable, yes. But nobody is that weak to be unable to live just because of missing someone. Yea, there would be pain and suffering, but so what? Life is just another form of suffering. She has tasted it all through her whole life with sweetness together. It's so real. Even it is suffering, she likes anything real.
When I first read this, I felt so angry. I don't want any pity from people. Then later I feel so funny about myself. Everybody has his/her freedom to express what they think or feel. Who am I here to get angry about this? My anger only reflects my pride.
Since people don’t need to live their life according to other people's expectations, there is no place for sorry. Since people deep down don't owe each other, there is no place for sorry either. Sorry is just another word to say "I can't do it." or "I don't feel like to do it."
You said you felt that you owed her a lot because you made such big upside-down trouble and turmoil to her life and eventually she got nothing out of this.
Oh, there is no need to feel so at all. That lady would be fine. At least she learned a lot through this. Anyway, she tends to be nowhere to go, nothing to achieve. She is vulnerable, yes. But nobody is that weak to be unable to live just because of missing someone. Yea, there would be pain and suffering, but so what? Life is just another form of suffering. She has tasted it all through her whole life with sweetness together. It's so real. Even it is suffering, she likes anything real.
When I first read this, I felt so angry. I don't want any pity from people. Then later I feel so funny about myself. Everybody has his/her freedom to express what they think or feel. Who am I here to get angry about this? My anger only reflects my pride.
Anyway, this is another realization to see how much pride I have about myself. Oh, I can live by myself. I don't need anybody. I don't need any pity from anybody...... And then I know I am such a person in such a way living my life. Somehow tough. Yea, a nice person who is tough.
Whatever the world is going to be, my loving nature will still be there. Even it is somehow so real (because it is always there) and unreal (because perhaps it doesn't belong to this world), but who cares? That's me. I can only live my life in my own way, and pay the price with a sense of knowing. Sadness will pass away.
Some people would feel comforted to hear other people saying sorry to them. That's ok to me. People are different. I respect all that difference. But please don't say sorry to me. I would feel somehow that sorry is dishonest deep down. Sometimes even when I myself said sorry to something or somebody, I immediately felt so uncomfortable about myself, kind of sensing that sorry partly out of being socially polite, but not being honest enough to just say “I don’t want to do that”, or “I can’t do it”, or “I can’t do what you expect me to do”.
My ex had this kind of feelings toward me even he never said it. And I found myself deep down hated that. What difference would it make to say sorry? If two people can't get together any more for whatever reason, just leave. There is always some other new life waiting for you to explore and to experience. Really nothing is sorry for. This is still my basic idea. Yea, Bob Dylan, my favorite song writer. His songs always express out my thoughts.
So, please don’t say sorry to me if you do it out of obliged social politeness or pity. That at least will bring some of my respect to your honesty. Particularly don't say that something you did was for whatever some reason. Please, that is your nature. That has nothing to do with me or with this or with that at all. I would have some more respect for your courage of being honest about all of this.
I never think that anybody can destroy another person's life in relationships. Maybe there is such thing because this world is somehow too complicated for me to understand its complexity. I would personally think that nobody can hurt anybody else unless I myself want to be hurt. (I know this kind of saying is cruel and disturbing. But what to do? That is one of the truths from my experiences.) Everybody is the one to be responsible for his/her own life; even somehow we have no choice in the Existence/Universe.
Blame-game rarely happens in my life. I don't blame others. Blame for me is just a waste of my life. I have more important and meaningful things to do in my life. And love would never be a waste in my life. Love nourishes people, including myself. Particularly giving love is much more nourishing than being loved. And ultimately there is really no such thing as difference between giving love and being loved. Love is everywhere in life, in the Existence, in the Universe. I would rather just enjoy love itself, and enjoy love emanated from the Universe, the Existence, the Nature, the Mother Earth, the Sky…
And, whoever comes, love is shared in the flow. Love is never just for one person only. Love itself is so much of abundance and flowing all around, how can it be just for one particular person?
Thank you for setting me free from this bondage. My job with you is done.
Life is a journey.
